COMEDY NIGHT: WITH SIX YOU GET EGGROLL!

at The Rumor Mill's OPEN MIC/Performance Night

Thursday, September 9, 2010 from 7:30-10:00 pm

RICH NEHER is a stealth comic and a tennis nut. He came to one of the Rumor Mill comedy nights with his girlfriend, and traded a few quips with our host, Sardia Marley, but never revealed himself as a comic. Then, the next morning, he sends us a video of himself onstage at The Laugh Factory and lord love a duck, the man is funny! So, we did what any savvy programmer would do–we booked him! More worrisome, though, is the man’s pronounced messianic tendencies on the subject of tennis. Rich insists that he was “put on this planet to promote World Peace through tennis – one country at a time!” He is currently conspiring with Oscar Wegner to “empower” U.S. tennis players and bring what he calls “Modern Tennis” into their lives. He next has his sights set on that island nation of diehard communists ninety miles off the coast of Florida and is plotting a “tennis invasion” to set them right. He plans to do them in with a fusillade of forehands, a bevy of brutal backhands, and dozens of drop shots as carefully placed as smart bombs. He intends on graciousness in victory, offering peace and goodwill to the conquered, and has been heard muttering the phrase, “I like Fidel Castro and his beard” while practicing his conciliation speech.  Keep your eyes on this guy, but definitely come hear him, as he is every kind of funny.

THEODISE EVANS (his friends call him Theo) was born in Arkansas, but grew up right here in the Inland Empire. From a young age he reports being hooked on comedy (an addiction that has sorely tested him through the years and for which he has found, alas, no remedy), and admits to being influenced by such inveterate, incorrigible and unrepentant comedic elders (all of them similarly and clearly under the influence of something) as Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Steve Martin, and Bill Cosby. He draws on his experiences with family and friends for his material, and tries to keep his comedy clean. In this he has not always been successful, though he has tried Tide, Ajax, Simple Green and other cleaning products. He even tried brushing his teeth with Comet, only to find this took the enamel off, which is why today he boasts a mouthful of gold teeth. He opened for Maz Jobrani on the “Axis of Evil Comedy Tour” at the Improv, and has been featured at the Comedy Store, Rebecca’s Lounge, the Pechanga Casino, and at comedy clubs up and down the coast of California.

KERRY ARNOLD STEPHENS grew up in a broken home in San Diego, California. According to Kerry, "The doors didn't open, the windows wouldn't close. The roof leaked and the floor squeaked." Kerry entertained his family from an early age (whether they liked it or not) by pantomiming old jazz records. His family included seven siblings (who cut him no slack, giving new meaning to the phrase “tough audience.”) Frankly, they thought he was crazy and even his classmates chased him home from school, but he persevered. Thus are stars born. His clever, observational comedy, influenced by comedians like George Carlin, Bill Cosby, Dick Gregory, Buddy Hackett, and Richard Pryor, is derived from his daily life and personal experiences. (Oh yes, Kerry has had his revenge!) He has appeared in television shows including "E.R.," "Family Law," "The Norm Show," "The Practice," and "The West Wing." Kerry has been performing stand-up comedy for the past eight years, and for the past half-dozen of those, rain or shine (he thought he was signing up for the U.S. Postal Service), Kerry has produced and hosted an open mic comedy show on Friday nights at ICandy in Long Beach, CA.

Having grown up in Stockton, CA, GABRIELLA FRANCIS considers herself a survivor. She remembers those hard days of youth when she used to run all the way home from the bus stop, an entire block from her house. She was bullied a lot as a kid but she’s not scared anymore, now that she’s got her secret weapon, a Glock 9 water pistol. With her faux-naivete and apparent wide-eyed innocence, she’s been stealing hearts all over the country and for this fraud the grand jury of the County of Los Angeles has indicted her for being criminally funny. She is also accused of taking audience members hostage at such otherwise respectable local venues as The Laugh Factory, the Improv, and the Comedy Store. In response to these charges, she has invoked her constitutional right not to incriminate herself. She has hosted the Rock and Roll Cabaret, been seen on ‘Totally Amp'd,’ and in various independent films and television commercials. She was the winner of ‘The Stand-Up SMACKDOWN.’ She should be considered armed (she has two of them!) and dangerously out of control.

DREW MERCOURIS hears voices. At twenty-four his dreams were haunted by spirits telling him he would be successful. They urged him to develop a “personal development” company and so he did, proselytizing for the next two years to the spiritually needy and those addicted to self-help books. At length the spirits departed, but not before whispering a little of the old Horace Greely into Drew’s ear, “Go West, Young Man, Go West.” Taking the attitude and intensity that had thus far served him well, he moved in 1997 to Orange County where, like many a transplanted New Yorker, he unfortunately found himself caught up in the netherworld of swing dancing. Over the next couple of years he positively blossomed as a swinger, becoming well-known both as performer and teacher, even to the extreme of making instructional videos. After an extended stint with Sexaholics Anonymous (the boy was far gone behind this “swinging“), he had an epiphany that saved him. Realizing his natural quick wit transferred to the comedy stage, and that he could still make something of his life, he has since found success in stand-up. In 2010, he was a semifinalist in both the Ultimate Laffdown and the Orange County Comedy Competition. He’s never looked back, and takes medication to control the voices.　

MEL AUSTIN made a deal with the devil to do comedy. As with Drew Mercouris, Mel heard a voice which he took to be that of his own special angel, a force of goodness and light. In this he was mistaken. It was Old Scratch himself who whispered in his ear, “Mel, my boy, you can be rich. I can make you rich. People will give you money, a lot of money, if you can make them believe they can become ‘financially free‘. I can show you how to convince them.” The bargain thus being struck, Mel, too, became a motivational speaker. All he really wanted, you understand, was enough of a financial cushion to be become a comedian and make people laugh. Before he knew it he was starring in commercials for …Terminix, and then National Geographic (the next best thing, he figured, to Mr. Scratch's promised eventual relocation to a warmer environment), and Amp’d Mobile. Mel has also become, in a mere dozen years, one of the “hottest” comics around, performing in all the best comedy rooms throughout California, including The Ice House, The Comedy Store, Comedy Union, and The Improv. If he is also sometimes forced to perform for corporations, private parties, churches, and political fundraisers for nefarious causes, he considers it's a small price to pay for his success. He is slated to soon visit some even warmer climes for an extended run (part of the 'terms and conditions' of his contract that he failed to read or consider very carefully). But, he would be the first to tell you that his career as a comedian is really, really heating up.

Our opening musical guest will be multi-instrumentalist and Rumor Mill regular HUBIE VINE (a.ka. "Frenchie" among certain comedians!). Please sure to arrive early to catch Hubie's set, which starts promptly at 7:30 pm.

Mother Superior for this crazy caravan of comedic wit and seriously wacky goings-on will be our charming and attractive host, actress/comedienne/writer SARDIA MARLEY. Sardia is currently working overtime to produce her upcoming comedy radio show, keep up with her grown boys, keep writing her one-woman show, develop new stand-up material, and find her next elusive movie role. She is such a slacker! That's her mug shot to the right. Producers looking for a hot chick need look no further. She can be reached here every other Thursday night.

THE RUMOR MILL, a coffeehouse/gallery/performance space.

11739 West Washington Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90066

310-397-5499   therumormill.us