COMEDY NIGHT: JUST FOUR YOU!

at The Rumor Mill's OPEN MIC/Performance Night

Thursday, August 5, 2010 from 7:30-10:00 pm

ALL of the funny people listed on this wanted poster are armed with a sense of the absurd and should be considered menaces to probity, propriety, and Republicans. They are, to a man and woman, known to puncture pomposity, to skewer the hypocritical and to attack the staid and decorous. It is only fair to warn the unwary that these comedians have been known to assault the unsuspecting with humor, and to cause even the unwilling to choke with laughter. Members of the audience are thus warned to chew and swallow carefully while listening to their puns and palaver. Furthermore, these comic knaves are known to mercilessly provoke mirth and merriment, as well as to promote rebellion in the ranks of the weary, the worried, the overworked and the underpaid. They should be considered a threat to the status quo– and yes, to the very foundation of civilized society itself! Citizens who see these individuals, either alone or together (they often appear in packs like dogs), should not attempt to apprehend them, but should keep them under surveillance, follow them at a discreet distance, and slip into the Rumor Mill, where the whole group listed on this broadside is known to be appearing on Thursday, August 5, from 7:30-10:00 pm. You are further advised to grab a seat, grab a sandwich, get a latte or cappucino, sit back and be prepared to laugh.

JACKIE ECO is easily identified by the greenish cast of her complexion. She has been known to frequently wear disguises and otherwise conceal her true identity behind a variety of “impressions.” In addition to being a comic impressionist, she robs banks and does stand-up comedy, and has promoted herself shamelessly as a green comedian with a decided sense of porpoise since her teenage years. Think mermaid, Odysseus: her with the pretty face, the red hair, and the siren song of humor—and you, the seduced sailor, her hapless victim, driven into the rocks by the gale force of your helpless laughter. Save the whales!

STEVIE MACK has many felonies and misdemeanors, at least a dozen of which are listed as film and television credits. (He’s a clearly a career criminal–these credits go all the way back to 1975’s Uptown Saturday Night; and include, more recently, Money Please (Good grief, Gladys, if he asks for it, just give it to him! Nothing is more important than your life!), The Other Way, Better Off Dead, and To Live and Die in L.A.). Stevie Mack is one of the most dangerous of this wild bunch, and he is the writer/host of the #1 online comedy talk show. Street-saavy, smart, and hilarious, he has been perpetrating comic crimes on the public at major clubs and events since 1991. He remains at large. Those wanting to peruse this miscreant’s extensive rap sheet in greater detail can do so at: http://www.myspace.com/comediansteviemack#ixzz0tusLD7uo

RHUNE KINCAID has been seen in these parts before. Armed with a guitar and a disarming sense of humor, he insists he is nothing more than a “friendly neighborhood monkey” who wears human clothes and food. Keep a tight grip on your bananas when this monkey is around! His songs are disingenuous, slyly humorous, and very, very clever. Monkey boy also has a good voice. Like Pinocchio, he hopes to one day turn into a real boy—and have a credit card. He likes “nice people who treat me like a human, even if they know that I’m actually a monkey, and pretty girls with poor eyesight who can’t tell the difference.” Short of his having a credit card, you can help aid public safety (and keep your own coconuts safe) if you buy one of his CDs, as he will otherwise have to continue his thieving ways.

JEFF HODGE was born in the Virgin Islands, and remained a virgin until he escaped the islands at the age of thirty-three. He swam all the way, avoiding both sharks and the Coast Guard. Things got better from then on. Once here, he appeared in films like Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (in which he nailed the part of the black guy), Crocodile Dundee in L.A., and in the television sitcom, The Parker. He has participated in an eight-city USO Tour of the Middle East, entertaining tens of thousands of American troops, and has written for both the Keenan Ivory Wayans Show and for The Steve Harvey Radio Show. He has opened for such comedians as George Lopez and Arsenio Hall. Jeff is also a producer and star of the live comedy show, Ambassadors of Comedy, which features America’s funniest foreign comedians.

JAIME NAKAMURA is not a nice man. He warns you upfront that he is “a fighter, not a lover” and will kick your ass faster than you can say ‘Bruce Lee.’ He back flips while standing in place, easily; acts (innocent, mostly, when he’s guilty of something), and “runs freely,” especially when the police are in pursuit. He is constantly fighting in public, most often where LAPD can’t lay a glove on him, in sanctioned MMA fights, which he often wins. He’s fast with his feet, quick with a quip, and can take you down with a headlock or with his stand-up comedy. What else is there to say about a man who cites Goat Penis and Eek-a-Mouse among his favorite groups? Oh yeah, he’s in a committed relationship but he still hopes you ladies (just “the cute ones,” will call).

Our opening musical act is ERIKA VARELA, who will be singing Lipstained Cigarettes and a few of her other original a cappella jazz songs in the style of old standards. She auditioned by singing a song one afternoon while standing at the Rumor Mill counter, and earned spontaneous applause from all present, including a customer absorbed by her laptop,  who was carefully listening, but who had never turned around to watch. The girl is good; you should make every effort to get here at 7:30 pm, before the comics descend on the place, and hear her perform.

Comedy wags and wits to be presided over, and the show to be kept briskly moving along, by our charming and attractive host, actress/comedienne SARDIA MARLEY. Sardia is currently working overtime to produce her upcoming comedy radio show, keep up with her grown boys, develop new material, and find her next elusive movie role. She has been a suspect in many comedic crimes, but no charges have ever stuck. That's her mug shot at the top of the bill. Producers looking for a hot chick need look no further. She can be reached here every other Thursday night.

THE RUMOR MILL, a coffeehouse/gallery/performance space.

11739 West Washington Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90066

website: therumormill.us • 310-397-5400